Goals

Sometimes we set goals for ourselves and we don’t meet them. Have you thought about why that is? Is it that you didn’t try hard enough? Is it that you just missed what you were aiming for? 

I had to really think about this. I have had many goals in my life. I can truly only think of one that I made it successfully; my four children. For a long time I felt like God was telling me I would have four children. Guess what, I did. What makes my children so different from the rest of my goals?

I have this clotting factor and I could have died after I gave birth to any of my children. I gave birth at 18 and it all was fine, or so it seemed. Then I gave birth at 24. Still didn’t know I had the clotting factor. About six weeks after I gave birth though my foot swelled up. I couldn’t walk. Ended up going to the ER and do you know what they decided I had? Cellulitis. Now because of my age they didn’t think I could possible have a blood clot. It wasn’t even a thought in anyone’s mind. They put me on crutches and put me on antibiotics. It didn’t get better and they didn’t know why.

Then fast forward and in 2007 I ended up with the same symptoms at age 32. I had swelling in my foot. They could not figure out what was wrong. They did X-rays. Put me on crutches. Then after a trip to the ER they decided to do an ultrasound and found even with my age, I had a DVT. This was February. 

In April I found out I was pregnant and my OB decided to run some tests. Found out I had Factor V Leiden Heterozygous. Basically that means both of my parents had a single gene (maybe both) but I got one gene from each parent. I had to be fully Anticoagulation with my pregnancy. Then as the pregnancy finished, I found out I was going to have to be on blood thinners the rest of my life.

So here I was 32 years old and I had just been given what I felt like was a death sentence. Blood thinners for the rest of my life. Here was just one more thing that was going to limit what I could and couldn’t eat in my life. 

Going back to goals. Most people don’t live with DVT’s without treating them. They go into your lungs, they go into your heart, to go into your brain and you die. Yet I am still here at 41 (almost 42). 

I think goals come together when you are not just focused on your goals for you but focused on the bigger picture with God. The reality is, I shouldn’t be here and yet I am here, with four children and yet I am. There is a reason for it.

So are my goals not being met because they are fully mine and I am not looking to the Lord? It would be something for me to look at. 

I do think some of my goals have been missed because of the fact they were fully mine. I didn’t listen to God’s leading. I can have goals that I succeed in without His guiding but is it really going to take me where I should be going? Will it be fulfilling like it would be if I was listening and following Him? 

I personally don’t want to be heading anywhere in this world without Him anymore! 

Have you had goals you have made but then felt empty with? Have you had goals that you set but didn’t achieve? Have you ever thought about why for either?

I would love to hear from you!