You Have To Be Resilient To Make It Through Life

The problem is so many people think and feel they should not have any difficulty going through life. The solution is we have to be willing to learn to be resilient because difficulty does exist.

Life is hard and I have been through my fair share of difficulties. Unless you are in my inner circle or personally in my life you probably do not know most of what I have dealt with and how I have overcome it.

The key though is I am resilient. I am emotionally resilient. I am physically resilient. I am mentally resilient. I am resilient.

I am pretty sure I have been most of my life but I didn’t always acknowledge it. But, if I am not willing to acknowledge that I do get knocked out and that there is something inside me that helps me get back up, I am truly missing out on helping others!

What is the hardest thing you have gone through? A partner cheating? Sexual abuse from someone you knew? Rape from someone you knew or even someone you didn’t know? A divorce? Abuse in a marriage or relationship? Financial ruin? Self-abuse?

The list of things is endless, how you respond is not.

I am a hot air balloon. I can be high up in the sky and see God’s artwork, which I am a part of and I can be down deflated on the ground where no one can see me but those who are close. But no matter where I am, I have the potential to fly high and go far, I just have to light my resilient fire.

Have you had times where you have no idea how you are going to keep on going? Maybe you are on the ground now and need help getting your fire lite again. Ask to join my inner circle by clicking here!

Gossip Is The Problem and People Are The Solution

Gossip is the problem and people are the solution.

I am sure you have been in this situation before because we all have. I was sitting in a restaurant and overheard the table next to me talking. I know, I can hear it now, that’s the pot calling the kettle black, you should not have been listening to them talk, it was a private conversation, and I realize all of this. Still, when my ears catch a word, I struggle to turn them off. And when you are in public anyone can hear anything you say.

She was talking about a friend. She wasn’t lifting her up. I would dare say that Susan really wasn’t a friend of hers!

I am the solution to gossip. I’m working hard to change my mindset so I am confident with who I am.

I once heard a story about a feathered pillow that went like this, “My mom held a feather pillow and said, ‘If I tear this open, the feathers will fly to the four winds, and I could never get them back in the pillow.”

I encourage you to keep your pillows together because you never know when you will need to lay your head down.

Do you want to learn solutions to combat gossip in your life? Click this link to be invited to my inner circle: http://bit.ly/LifeSynergyInnerCircle

Just Think About It…

What does this mean to you?

Over the years, for myself, it has changed. But I think I finally get it and understand it and am doing it.

Tell me, what does this mean to you?

What Does Living Intentionally Healthy Mean?

One of our biggest problems is that we are afraid of the word healthy. The best solution is to define what healthy means to you!

Let me be perfectly clear, I do know how to live a healthy life. But it used to sound boring and bland (those darn teen years).

When I was little I loved fresh fruits and veggies. My grandparents lived on a farm and going into the garden was awesome! Then I turned into a teen and all my friends were eating junk so why can’t I enjoy junk as well? Let me tell you what happened very quickly. I was craving sugar. I wanted candy bars. I wanted pop. I wanted chips. I wanted junk. That is what my body wanted all the time. Not only is it what my body craved it changed how my body worked.

What Doors Are Waiting To Open For You?

Have you ever thought about what happens to the body when you make unhealthy choices? What happens when you eat mostly sugary foods (learn about that in my inner circle)? It can cause problems you never knew about, never thought about and didn’t realize was really going on causing health problems. How much sugar do you eat? What does it mean to be healthy for you? What doors would it open in your life?

When you sing and you sound like an angel but are always alone, no one hears you, and no one will ever be blessed. When you sing and sound like an angel and always sing in front of others you bless everyone. Are you singing alone or in front of others?

If you want to hear more about me and the little things I did ask to join my inner circle!

When You Realize How Blessed You Are

There isn’t much I don’t appreciate these days. So many of my friends; whom I consider family, have cancer, health issues, financial issues, relationship issues, and other things that can be overwhelming. Each person feels things differently and so there is no way to compare each persons pain but there are so many who are suffering.

I am not without my own pain but I have gotten back to being in His Word. You see I had fallen away from my daily time with Christ. That had caused me to focus on what was going wrong in my life instead of focusing on what is good, what was going right, what was a blessing in my life. I wasn’t seeing anything but bad.

Six days ago, I got back into my daily time. Six days ago I started to open up my Bible app every day and read the verse of the day, read three plans I had stopped and feeling closer to God. One day three, I started to feel content again. I started to look at the positive things. I started to see my blessings again.

One the second day of doing the getting into the devotions I read Psalm 143 and it spoke to me in so many ways.

Lord, here my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me swell in the darkness
like those long dead.
So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, Lord;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
Rescue me from my enemies, Lord,
for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

For your name’s sake, Lord, Preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

It isn’t that my problems went away. It isn’t that my pain disappeared. It is that my focus shifted. I was looking to God when I started to focus on the issues that are in my life. I would start to pray when the anxiety would creep up.

I started to focus on my spiritual warfare again.

Today, the verse of the day is Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Not only is it the verse of the day, it was in my Devotional about Fighting an Invisible Enemy. It really made me think.

Every day I should be putting my spiritual armor on. Ephesians 6:11 says “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit. And I need to be praying in the Spirit on ever occasion with all of my prayers and requests.

I am not perfect and my life is not perfect. But I am finding joy in the little things. I am turning to Christ when I am struggling and overwhelmed. I am giving it over to Him because I know that even during the hard time, He has me and He will help me grow and make it through.

Yesterday we celebrated my parents birthday’s. They were both born in August only a year and a few days apart. This allows us at the end of each summer to have one more big family get together. We are able to enjoy food, swimming, company and family.

Yesterday’s get together also brought a lot of laughter with it. It has been a long time since our family has laughed and had this much fun. We enjoy each other. We support each other. We laugh with each other. And yesterday had a huge cupcake fight.

No one was spared. It started with me, getting Bella in the face. Which lead to her having a meltdown. I finally got her into the house to clean her face off and here comes my mom with a smurf face and teeth. I step outside and see that there is neon pink, green, blue and yellow every where.

When I say every where, I mean on just about every person, the dog, the ground, the deck and chairs. I sat down in a chair and was covered in frosting very quickly. My brother and sister in law escaped for a little bit. They ran into the house, pulled the door shut and locked the door while their youngest daughter threw a cupcake at them and hit the window.

I then encouraged my nieces to grab a cupcake and run around the house and go in through an unlocked door to get them. They did and it was a great moment.

Here is the biggest thing for me: had I not gotten into His Word days before, had I not gotten my focus off of the negative I would not have been able to enjoy this past Sunday. I would have been focusing on the negative things. I would not have had a good time with my family like I was able to.

I would not have enjoyed the food. I would not have enjoyed the kids laughing. I would not have enjoyed the stressful moments. I would not have been able to laugh myself. I would not have been able to just enjoy the last fun moments of summer with the amazing family God has given to me.

If you are struggling, I encourage you to build your relationship with God. Speak to Him every day. Pray in the Spirit when you are struggle. Laugh with Him. Cry with Him.

You are His child and He loves you!

The Power of Transformation

Today I had the privilege of sitting down with someone who has had a massive transformation over the last twelve months. This is a person who has been in my life for the past ten years. This is the person that brought Jack and I together. I am not even sure if he knew that until this past weekend.

He gave up his old ways because the Holy Spirit had entered into his heart. Not only did He enter into his heart, He began to whisper to him. He was placing people, situations, and places around him that were planting seeds in him.

I got to listen to his story today. I got to listen to his vision for the future today. I was lucky enough to be able to see something I had never before seen and it was amazing.

I was also able to share my story or part of my story with him. I am the first to admit even my husband doesn’t know my whole story. It is something I am working on. I would not be who I am today without my story. Still admitting all of it, isn’t always the easiest thing to do.

Why is it when we meet someone new we are afraid to admit who we were? Maybe you still struggle with some of the same sins but you are an ever changing child of God. If you are working on you, if you are developing your relationship with Christ, what are you afraid of to admit who you were?

Give Him the glory! You can not change without Him moving in your life! You can not transform without Him moving in your life! Your transformation is powerful because He allowed you to be transformed! He is using you in His story, for His glory!

Maybe you don’t have an awesome transformation story. Maybe you grew up in the church. Maybe you followed all the rules. Maybe you never had that ah-ha moment where you woke up and God moved in you. To me those stories are just as moving
because tragedy, mental health problems,  and life still happens!

Those who have grown up and not had a big life change still struggle. There is still hardships and to see how they walk through those moments give hope. To someone like me. Someone who grew up in the church and walked away and created a mess for her life.

There is hope that my life, even though it is full of struggle and hardships, I can look at those who have always gone to God and I have a role model. I have someone I can call and say, “How would you deal with this?” or “What Bible book or chapter or verse would you read?” or “Please pray for me.”

Transformation is a powerful thing. Sharing your story is a powerful thing. Being vulnerable enough to show others what you have become from who you were, is a powerful thing.

I have recently learned the power of writing your story out. Write out a short, quick story to share with people who are not certain. Make it two minutes or less. Write out a longer version to share with those who are dipping their toes in the water. This is your cliff notes version. Give them your highlights. Write out your full story. We are not talking about your life story here. We are talking about what you were, what woke you up, where God had called you and where you are going with Him. This here is for those who are in some where in their own transformation.

Have you ever realized that once your growth starts, if you feed it, it never stops. I have talked about how important it is to spend time with your friend, Jesus every day is before. If He was a friend who was physically here, would you ignore them for days, weeks, months and expect that your friendship would be rock solid? I know I wouldn’t. I know with my best friends, if I do not connected with them at least once a day I feel as if I am missing something.

So for me personally, why would I skip over the most important relationship in my life? I have done that before and I hate it. I grow distant from Him. I don’t feel Him. I don’t hear Him. I feel like I have this hole in my heart that nothing can fill up. I have excess anxiety, worry, fears, bad choices and an overall uneasiness. It isn’t any fun for me. I am an irritable mess.

I decided over a year ago now I didn’t want to get back to being that person. There are still times I fail miserably at it but now it doesn’t take me as long to realize what is off, what is wrong and what is missing. The best part is He is always waiting right where I left Him. He is standing there with His arms out waiting for me to come running back.

How awesome is that? I can walk away a million times and He stops and waits for me to come back!

Today, I really realized the power of transformation. I can’t tell you how many times I hit rock bottom before I figured out what was going wrong. I can’t tell you how many times I made horrific life choices. I can tell you that what I felt like was a big gaping hole in my life that I was constantly trying to fill with the wrong things was the Holy Spirit working in me.

She was biding Her time. She was waiting on me. She was always in me and always with me. She just waited for me to die to myself to come to Her, to come home to Christ, to walk through the doors to God.

That cycle has happened far more than I would like to admit but it is my story. It is who I am. It is who has brought me to this point in my life. It is the story He has allowed me to go through for His glory.

The person I met with this morning, he has a similar story. To see a baby believer come into their relationship with Jesus was uplifting. To see the fire in him was inspiring. I will be the first to admit, it is easy to become complacent, to let that fire fade into embers.

That isn’t what we are called to though. We do not have to do big things to transform others. We are called to share our love, our story, and to plant seeds by being Jesus with skin on here and now.

The power of transformation is an amazing thing. Allowing your story to be told for His glory is an amazing thing! Do not be ashamed of who you were and what you have gone through because He is using you in big ways and you may not even know it.

Relationship and Business Building

I am a stay at home mom whose children are in school full time now. I felt like I lost my purpose. My husband, Jack works in a factory that doesn’t have room for growth or advancement. Neither of us really wanted me to go back to work full time. There are still opportunities to volunteer in school, because the kiddos are young we would need daycare for the summer and with autoimmune issues for Jack, Bella and myself there is a lot of time I am at home with children missing school. But we were not saving, we didn’t go on vacations, we were not buying food on a regular basis and we were in debt. So I knew I had to find a way to contribute to our household income. Then we found this amazing company and we were flooding our bodies with whole food nutrition. We were getting healthy and we decided we wanted to join the mission to help others get healthy, have fun doing it and offer a financial solution for others as well. Now we work the business together, we are working on getting out of debt and I am still able to stay home while contributing to our income. One of the best parts is for the first time in ten years, Jack and I were able to get away for a weekend to build our relationship and our business. Jack still works for the factory but we see a future and retirement with our business! The best part is we get to help others realize and achieve their dreams as well!

That is my business story. I also have a personal story about what the product has done for me. You see this past weekend we did get away. We were able to build our relationship, we made new friendships and we worked on our business.

I wish I could find the words to express every feeling I had but I am not sure there is a way. A team member looked at me at the end of the weekend and asked me what I was thinking right then. I looked at him and said, “I’m overwhelmed and could cry.” which then I did proceed to cry.

You see, I have been a part of just about every kind of network marketing there is out there. I have been to meetings, training’s, boot-camps and events. People were nice at them. They would talk to you but I never felt like I belonged.

Then as I am crying I proceed to say, “I felt like I was a part of a community. I felt like I belonged. It didn’t matter where you were in your journey in the company, everyone here just wanted to make sure you had the tools needed to succeed. They didn’t care if
you were on their team, they didn’t care if you just started, they wanted to talk to you, to embrace you, to make you a part of their family and I feel like I am home.” It truly overwhelmed me.

I hugged top people in the company. They answered any and all questions. Their why’s still make them cry, even after 20+ years in the company. They have a passion to help others get healthy, reach their goals and see their dreams come true. It was something I have never had before in my life.

It was a weekend filled with a lot of emotion. When we first got there, I was so anxious because even though I knew some of these people, I didn’t know them. I had no idea what the weekend was going to be like. I was a nervous wreck. Then I walked in, saw people for the first time in person and felt at ease. Within 10 minutes of being there I had hugged three people.

I learned so much. I heard new things I had never thought of before. I realized things I knew about but didn’t put as much importance on, needed to be important. I connected with my husband, we laughed a lot and we got to do a few things together other than learn more about our business.

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by what you just were able to do? I am an emotional person to begin with but this was just so amazing. I was truly beyond blessed with this opportunity. I was even more blessed because Jack was able to go with me.

I was given, well everyone was given, some writing tasks for homework. I have not gotten to them yet but I am pretty sure I know where they will take me and I am proud of it. I have always wanted to feel as if we are financially secure. I was never really certain what that would mean. In the back of my mind I know I want to provide food, a house, and to be able to care for those around me. I have said often I just want to be able to pay our bills and put food on the table but the truth is I do want more than that. I do have goals and they are not small ones.

I have goals in life. One of the biggest goals is to be able to give more financially. I want to help teens go on mission trips they may not have gone on. I want to help families put food on their table’s because no one should ever struggle the way we have. I want to help our church’s community recovery program thrive for the kids program. I want to be able to give more to our church and community.

I went into the weekend already knowing that the capsules had changed my life. I went into the weekend already knowing that the business had started to change our lives. I left the weekend knowing that as a family, we have made the best choice we could ever had made for both our health and our wealth.

Vulnerable vs. Transparent

I have joined a book study for the summer. We are reading Nothing to Prove by Jennie Allen and tonight we read chapter 6, No Longer Lonely. She talked about a lot but one thing she did was define the difference between being vulnerable and transparent. 

I never really thought there was much difference but after reading and thinking about the definitions it really hit me. To be vulnerable you share an edited truth and only allow others to see what you want them to. To be transparent you share everything with them, there is no edited truth, the person looks into your eyes and sees the depths of your soul, flaws and all.

I have been both on this blog. I have had posts that I just allow you to see the edits of what I want you to see. Fearing if I put it all out there, my soul will be out there, I will have people who can use things against me and whatever else happens if you are transparent. Then there are times where I am transparent, admitting so much of who I was, what I did, things I wouldn’t want to admit to people I see face to face. 

There are some things I haven’t even admitted to my husband. Why is that? I am scared of what he would think of me. I am scared he would no longer want to be with me. What if I admit who I was, the things I have done and he no longer looks at me \the same? Not only that, but I am bipolar and if I admit what I had done when not properly medicated, it is as if the reality of it happening again exists. 

You see, I know how he feels about certain things. I know what has happened to me in the past. I know what I am capable of if I am going manic and out of control. It scares me, because if I go there again, I most certainly will lose my husband. If I don’t speak the words, it is as if I am preventing it from happening, because it isn’t real as long I never speak the words. 

There are certain things I haven’t been fully honest about with anyone. What would anyone think of me? 

Here is the thing that was talked about in the book: Jennie talks about the woman at the well (and let me just say that if you have not had the opportunity to read this book – get it! The way she places herself in these stories and brings you into it is amazing). Jesus came and He let her know that she was forgiven, she was loved, she was cared for and most of all she was free. Free from her past, free from her sin, free from the judgment of others and free to be who God created her to be. 

It didn’t matter if others knew her sins. It didn’t matter what others thought about her sins. Jesus spoke to her. Jesus cared about her. Jesus freed her. Nothing anyone could do, nothing anyone could say would ever take away her identity she had in Jesus. Nothing! She went from being ashamed, hiding from others, and feeling less than the dirt she walked on to get to the well to exclaiming her sins to prove He had come for her, He knew her and loved her, He was there to save everyone and that included her and He cared for her. 

She embraced who she had been so that she could be free!  

4 Now he had to go through Samaria. 5 So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6 Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

19 “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. 20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”

21 “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

25 The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

26 Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”

27 Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

28 Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, 29 “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” 30 They came out of the town and made their way toward him.

31 Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.”

32 But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.”

33 Then his disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?”

34 “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. 35 Don’t you have a saying, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. 36 Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. 37 Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. 38 I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.”

39 Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” 40 So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. 41 And because of his words many more became believers.

42 They said to the woman, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.”

~John 4:4-42 (NIV)

You don’t have to be transparent with the world. There is a lot to be said about being wise with whom you share your past, your sins, your hurts, and your life. There is also no guarantee that those you share with won’t hurt you and break your trust. We are all people, we all sin, we all make mistakes but that doesn’t mean you should not share with anyone at all.

I do believe God has placed people in my life whom I can trust and yet it is still hard to do. It is hard to be transparent because it is letting go of a fear. It is knowing that even if I am transparent with certain people and they walk away, I am still loved because Jesus came here to earth, to save sinners like me. My identity is with Him, in Him and no matter what anyone thinks of me or the sins I have done or will do. He came, He suffered, He died, He gave me grace, He gave me forgiveness, He gave me salvation and He showed me the ultimate sacrifice and love. 

So have I been transparent in the past? No, not really. When I had been it backfired on me. So I have shyed away from being open, transparent about certain things. I do feel that He is pushing me along, trying to get me to see being transparent will free me, to be able to say, “Yes I am this person but it doesn’t define me! Christ is my identity!” 

It is not a free pass to do wrong. It does not take away my past from what I did. It will just change how I see me. I will see me through His eyes. I will be able to look into the mirror and see His child and not the “failure” and the “sinner”. My salvation isn’t based upon what I do, I want to strive to be a better person because He loves me and I love Him and people love doing things for their loved ones. 

Being transparent with Jesus and with myself and with those He places in my life just frees me. It frees me to accept who I am, who I was and who I am in Him. It frees me to accept and own it all. It allows me to see myself through His eyes. 

I Would Like To Order Advice and Wise Counsel, With A Side of Support But Hold The Judgment and Negativity Please!

I do not hide that I am a Christian. I do not hide that I am a sinner. I do not hide that I have things that I need to work on in my life. My thoughts are not always what they should be. My actions are not always what they should be. My choices are made at times in haste instead of with prayer. I am human, I have faults, I have flaws but I am saved with grace because Christ died for me. 

I have had a few conversations lately that all seem to focus on the fact that many people in my life are very judgmental and negative. Many people in my life are trying to save me from the same exact things that are going on in their life that they either have blinders for or make excuses for themselves. Many people want me to open up and I just know that what is about to come, isnt’ what I need or want to hear, so I put up my boundaries and leave it be. I also remind myself, I am already saved. 

I would like to be able to go up to someone. I would like to have a conversation with that person and ask them to listen. Sometimes I may ask for advice or wise counsel. Sometimes I just want to know that they will support me and stand with me. I don’t want to be open with someone to have them turn around and judge me, share negative thoughts and words with me or then share with others. I am an introvert by nature and when I take the time to get to know you and open up to you, I trust you. 

If you head down a negative path and become judgmental the trust starts to break down. If I come to you again and we go down the same road, sooner or later I lose the trust and faith that you support me. That you are here for me. That you are the person I should be going to for wise counsel.

Listen to advice and accept what you are taught.                                 In the end you will be wise.
Proverbs 19:20

I admit there are times I really need to work on this myself. I get into a situation and I become negative. I can’t wait for it to be done and over. I can’t help but judge the other person and their actions. I allow other situations and the past to influence current circumstances at times. If I have a first time situation with a person, I can let the past change my view on it. So I have to work exceptionally hard to toss the judgment and negativity. I have to take a step back and reevaluate what is actually going on with the current situation. If this has happened with the person before, I have to make decisions about trust (but that is a whole other story there). 

When I come to a person it isn’t for them to live my life for me. It isn’t for them to be upset with the way I am living my life. This is my life. This isn’t their life. My path is not your path. We may have similar paths, but we are each given our own path by God. When we have a relationship with Him, we know where we should go and what we should do. Even when we make a wrong turn in our life, He is able to work it out for good. It can be a lesson, it can be a trial, it can be patience, it is used and worked out for good; if we let Him. 

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do Not Fear; I will help you!
Isaiah 41:13

I do understand why we get upset when someone doesn’t listen to the advice we give them. Most of the time we have lived through what they are going through. We do not like seeing friends and family making similar mistakes we have made. We want to stop them so that they do not have to suffer. But again, this is their path and their path is not my path. God can and does use any situation we have placed ourselves in. He can and does use any situation that others have placed us in. Nothing is beyond God’s ability. 

If this was a perfect world there would have been zero need for God to send His son to save our miserable, sinning, selfish souls. Yet we all have that part of us that needs Him. We may not know it, we may not admit it and we may not act like it. Still, He has always been there.  Even when we ignore him, but that is even more of a reason why He needed to send Jesus to save us and give us grace.

Change can and does happen in life. In order for change to happen in life you need support and love and understanding. You do not need judgment and negativity and being reminded of who you were. 

Character is who you are and what you do when no one is looking. 

There have been two national stories on the news about inmates. One of those stories was about two inmates who (I believe) were on their way to a work detail, ended up overpowering guards, taking their lives and going on the run. We don’t need to highlight those two. If you were not aware of this story they did end up giving up after being on the run. 

The next story that has been out there about inmates tells me so much. In Polk County, Georgia there were six inmates who were on a work detail in a cemetery. The sheriff who was with them, was their normal work detail officer and he passed out. Instead of these men running away since their supervisor was down and unconscious, they rushed to his side. They opened his shirt, removed his bulletproof vest and started CPR. At the same time another one of the men took his phone and called 911 to save his life. To read their story you can go here.

This just reminds me that we are all fallen people who make bad choices. Some of those choices result in prison unfortunately, but treating these inmates as humans and having compassion for them, they saved an officers life instead of running away and letting him die. Character is who you are when no one is looking and they proved who they have become, not who they were. Those men had no idea they would be an example for the world with their actions and yet, here they are.

Support, love, comfort, listening, compassion, advice, wise counsel and treating people humans who make mistakes is what everyone needs. Being negative and judgmental and angry and cruel doesn’t get anyone anywhere. 

What do you do in your life? Do you fall on to the negative train? Do you take the path of support and love? 

Go Foward, Stand Still, Go Backward

The last few days have been a bit crazy. I avoided posting a couple times last week because I tend to rant. Things have gone wonky around my life, so to allow it to stay wonky here, I stepped away.

This is a place for me to write what I would like, when I would like but when it involves others, I try to use restraint. I am not always good at it but I do try. So what do you do when you get stuck? What do you do when you have to step out of your comfort zone? What do you do when you have to address wrongs and broken trust? 

I personally have stepped away. Most of the time I avoid it all because of past issues in my life. I do not like confrontation and in the past, addressing issues, wrongs and broken trust always turned into confrontation. I have avoided confrontation for over ten years now. I have not stood up for myself for ten years now. When things take a turn, when someone does something to me, against me or when I realize the extent of what is going on I would compose a letter, and run. 

I would tell them what I knew, how I felt, what I watched, what I kept in and I would mail it so there was zero confrontation. I would do whatever it took to avoid and get away. My past did a number on me and not in a good way. I was so afraid of being honest with people for fear of what they would say, what they would try and twist and how they would try and turn it on me. 

Before I would send the letter though, I would avoid them forever. I would collect as much information to make sure I wasn’t crazy and had my facts. It had become a true avoidance masterpiece when you looked at it. I had all my ducks in a row, so that if I did have to see them after all was said and done, I had my armor all on and ready to go.

I was a pathetic, hiding, scared soul. I did this with everything in my life! Friends, ex-landlords, ex-husbands (or would be ex) and the list went on. I was always in defense mode. I was always ready to pounce and never ready to listen. I was so tired of defending what I had found (in my past) that I had lost the ability to trust myself. 

I was no longer a good person. I gave up on listening to what people were saying because I didn’t want to have to listen and change. I didn’t want to have to forgive. When it all really came to light what I was doing to myself, I had to make a huge choice. Was I got to move forward, stand still or move backwards. I had to make a choice to move forward. I still have times when I am stuck standing still or I want to revert back to the way I ran from it all. However those options do not teach my children how to deal with life.

I have had to grow a backbone. I do listen now but I am slow to respond. I will avoid communication if I ask for a break and it isn’t given. I need time to process things. Do not mistake what I am doing now as being a doormat because I am not. It may seem cruel and heartless but it isn’t. I am protecting them and I am protecting me. I am giving myself time to process. 

I do have a select few I turn to that I use as a sounding board. I am not using my own judgment anymore. I am asking for others opinions. When I have a clear vision, when I have prayed and have had an answer, I will have a conversation with the person. There is a real good possibility they won’t appreciate what I say. I do not just roll over anymore and say, “It’s okay.” I process and let them know where I stand. 

I am taught as a Christian I need to forgive. That is great but forgiving does not mean forgetting and it doesn’t mean wiping the slate clean and allowing myself to fall right back into the same situation. If I don’t trust anymore, I will tell you. If I can’t have a relationship with you anymore, I will tell you. It doesn’t mean that it can’t get back to what it was, but that takes time and because of my past, it takes a lot of time. 

I lay it out and then the rest is up to you. Are you going to accept what I have said or is it going to make you want to run and hid like I used to do? 

Life is full of choices and when you have to make changes it isn’t always easy. I fought these changes for a long time. I could not stay the same anymore though. I had to step out of my comfort zone. I had to move forward. I had to listen to what Christ’s word was saying to me and what I was being directed to. 

I have been really good at hiding from what I needed to do to change. That is over. The new me, I am not sure I really like her and I know I am not where I need to be yet. But I am so much closer to who I need to be than I was, even a year ago. I am not a doormat anymore, I am a woman who has a backbone, and I am a woman who doesn’t just pounce but weighs my options and what is laid before me. 

How you had to make some scary changes in regards to how you deal with things? How had it worked for you? Did you jump in head first or did you dip your toes and try to run from it, like me?